{"id":1013,"date":"2009-02-17T14:43:42","date_gmt":"2009-02-17T12:43:42","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/vaxxi.net\/log\/?p=1013"},"modified":"2009-02-17T15:34:06","modified_gmt":"2009-02-17T13:34:06","slug":"air-france-e-de-cacat","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/vaxxi.net\/log\/air-france-e-de-cacat\/","title":{"rendered":"air france e de c\u0103cat!"},"content":{"rendered":"

Auzisem de mult despre belele cu Air France (fere\u015fte-te de Air France, Iberia \u015fi AllItalia, mi s-a zis), dar vorba aia … p\u00e2n\u0103 nu o p\u0103\u0163e\u015fti, nu prea le crezi.\u00c2\u00a0Nu comentez asupra m\u00e2nc\u0103rii de la ei … care a fost dureros de s\u0103rat\u0103 \u015fi necomestibil\u0103, c\u0103 deh – e chestie de gust. Mai bine erau cinsti\u0163i \u015fi d\u0103deau ca \u0103ia de la Gol<\/a> doar ni\u015fte bomboane de ciocolat\u0103: b\u0103, nu putem, nu \u015ftim, asta avem. <\/em>Air France sucks, Air France e de c\u0103cat.<\/p>\n

Acum vreo 2 s\u00e2mbete, m\u0103 \u00eentorceam de la Paris. Cursa de diminea\u0163\u0103, boarding time \u00c2\u00a0la 10:20, ajung la Charles de Gaulle pe la 8 \u015fi 20, la 8:50 aveam bagajul trecut de check-in \u015fi aproape o or\u0103 jumate de pierdut. Cheltui m\u0103run\u0163i\u015ful r\u0103mas prin buzunare \u00een magazinele din aeroport, mai un ziar, mai ni\u015fte muzic\u0103 la PSP, \u015fi cu vreo 45 de minute \u00eenainte de ora limit\u0103 de \u00eembarcare m-a\u015fez resemnat la coada kilometric\u0103 de la verificarea pa\u015fapoartelor \u015fi control corporal.\u00c2\u00a0<\/p>\n

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La control corporal, erau 2 ma\u015fini de raze X \u015fi 2 agen\u0163i plictisi\u0163i care verificau pa\u015fapoarte (francez s\u0103 nu r\u0103spund\u0103 la salut, rar am mai v\u0103zut). Eh, \u015fi astea am\u00e2ndou\u0103 lucrau pentru 16 por\u0163i de \u00eembarcare, cu vreo 5 avioane preg\u0103tite s\u0103 preia ciumpalacii pentru expedierea lor aerian\u0103 pe alte meleaguri. \u015ei o coaaad\u0103\u0103\u0103\u0103 … o coad\u0103\u0103\u0103\u0103 b\u0103i nene, ca la personalul de Constan\u0163a vineri seara! C\u0103 ar fi fost coad\u0103 … mai era cum mai era, dar era o coad\u0103 format\u0103 din specimene mai proaste dec\u00e2t prevede noaptea, care ignorau complet afi\u015fele lipite ca la idio\u0163i prin tot terminalul referitor la nu-mai-ai-voie-s\u0103-cari-lichide-\u015fi-sticle-\u00een-bagajul-de-m\u00e2n\u0103<\/em>, b\u0103, boule\/vaco! \u015ei d\u0103-i nenic\u0103 discu\u0163ii cu \u0103ia de la vam\u0103, da’ de ce n-am voie s\u0103 \u00eemi iau sticla de Evian cu mine<\/em>, p\u0103i de de-aia, da’ de ceeee, <\/em>\u015fi a\u015fa mai departe. Dac\u0103 treceau de controlu’ cu sticlele, ajungeau la poarta aia de scanare, unde acelea\u015fi specimene idioate se prezentau cu: patruj’ de kile de br\u0103\u0163\u0103ri \u015fi bling-blinguri, cizme cu catarame, curele cu catarame, catarame cu catarame, ochelari cu catarame, inele cu catarame, de sem\u0103nau cu un medieval d-\u0103la \u00een armur\u0103 u\u015foar\u0103, de lupt\u0103 corp la corp cu balaurul. \u015ei fiecare specimen de-\u0103sta trebuia prelucrat, dezechipat de tot arsenalul de r\u0103zboi, desc\u0103l\u0163at, trecut prin poart\u0103, lini\u015ftit c\u00e2nd \u00eencepea s\u0103 protesteze… of, via\u0163a mea.<\/p>\n

\u00cen fine, mergea coada cum mergea de \u00eencet, dar mergea. Timp mai era, nu e problem\u0103. Moment \u00een care, dramaticul \u015fi ireparabilul se produce, intriga se dezvolt\u0103, \u015fi ma\u015fina cu raze X de scanat bagaje num\u0103rul 1 decide c\u0103 via\u0163a e prea crud\u0103, \u015fi \u00ee\u015fi ia adio de la ea. Adic\u0103 de la via\u0163\u0103. Adic\u0103 se stric\u0103. \u015ei tot cioporul \u0103la de ciuciunghezi care st\u0103tea la coada ma\u015finii ce tocmai se stricase, se comport\u0103 \u00een concordan\u0163\u0103 cu echipamentul u\u015for de lupt\u0103 pe care-l purtau la m\u00e2ini, g\u00e2t \u015fi urechi — \u015fi d\u0103 n\u0103val\u0103 la ma\u015fina nr. 2, evident \u00een fa\u0163a cozii! Imagina\u0163i-v\u0103 un pic \u015fi vizual: vreo 30 de indivizi \u015fi individe desc\u0103l\u0163a\u0163i (cu papucei de-\u0103ia de plastic cum se dau c\u00e2nd intri la muzeele simandicoase), cu \u0163oalele \u00eentr-o m\u00e2n\u0103 \u015fi tava cu telefon\/acte\/bani\/chei \u00een cealalt\u0103, cu pantalonii c\u0103z\u00e2ndu-le \u00een vine unora (cureaua era \u00een tava anterior pomenit\u0103), d\u00e2nd n\u0103val\u0103 spre coada #2!<\/p>\n

Buun… coada \u015fi ordinea se duc sufletului pe apa s\u00e2mbetei, eu \u00eencep s\u0103 m\u0103 uit la ceas cu o spr\u00e2ncean\u0103 ridicat\u0103 u\u015for, apare o tanti de la Air France (care Air France e de c\u0103cat, dup\u0103 cum ziceam): pasageri pentru cursa de Beirut, exist\u0103 pasageri pentru cursa de Beirut? <\/em>moment \u00een care unii ridic\u0103 m\u00e2na \u015fi sunt b\u0103ga\u0163i \u00een fa\u0163a cozii (fraier eu, c\u0103 n-am zis la fel ca ei). Trec \u00een sf\u00e2r\u015fit de verificare, \u00eemi trag la loc n\u0103dragii, \u015fi la 10:17 ajung \u00een fa\u0163a por\u0163ii de \u00eembarcare. A por\u0163ii de \u00eembarcare \u00eenchise. \u00cenchise cu 3 minute \u00eenainte de ora de pe bilet! \u00c4\u201aia de Beirut au fost anun\u0163a\u0163i, boii de Rom\u00e2nia – nu.<\/p>\n

Dup\u0103 ce m-am certat f\u0103r\u0103 nici un rezultat cu tipul de la ghi\u015feul Air France sucks, explic\u00e2ndu-i cu toat\u0103 r\u0103bdarea \u015fi franceza de care sunt \u00een stare c\u0103 n-am nici un interes s\u0103-mi bag bagajele \u00een cal\u0103 de la 8:50, \u015fi ulterior s\u0103 pierd avionul de la 10:20, am f\u0103cut rost de un loc pe Tarom, \u00eentr-o curs\u0103 operat\u0103 tot de Air France sucks. \u015ei am \u00een\u0163eles de ce graba asta cu \u00eembarcarea pe ei… avionul era tras la un terminal f\u0103r\u0103 burduf, a\u015fadar dup\u0103 primul control de pa\u015faport \u015fi boarding pass la poart\u0103 … urma un alt control la urcarea \u00een autobuz, \u015fi \u00eenc\u0103 un control la urcarea \u00een avion! De men\u0163ionat c\u0103 al doilea se f\u0103cea la baza sc\u0103rii, \u00eentr-o z\u0103pad\u0103 \u015fi un v\u00e2nt de te f\u0103cea s\u0103-\u0163i dore\u015fti s\u0103 fac\u0103 unii din jur combustie spontan\u0103, ca s\u0103 te mai \u00eenc\u0103lze\u015fti ni\u0163el!<\/p>\n

\u015ei ca s\u0103 termin\u0103m odat\u0103 povestea asta de-a r\u00e2su’-pl\u00e2nsu’, e suficient s\u0103 v\u0103 zic urm\u0103toarele:<\/p>\n