{"id":826,"date":"2008-12-18T22:57:03","date_gmt":"2008-12-18T20:57:03","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/vaxxi.net\/log\/?p=826"},"modified":"2008-12-18T22:57:03","modified_gmt":"2008-12-18T20:57:03","slug":"boala-lui-best-regards","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/vaxxi.net\/log\/boala-lui-best-regards\/","title":{"rendered":"boala lui “best regards”"},"content":{"rendered":"

De c\u00e2nd f\u0103ceam rom\u00e2n\u0103 \u00een general\u0103, \u00eemi amintesc partea din program\u0103 dedicat\u0103 scrierii documentelor oficiale. Sigur vi le aminti\u0163i: \u015fabloanele alea anoste, cu “cerere\u00e2\u20ac\u009d, “scrisoare\u00e2\u20ac\u009d, “proces verbal\u00e2\u20ac\u009d etc, \u00eenghesuite \u00een grab\u0103 pe la sf\u00e2r\u015fitul anului \u015fcolar. Eh, formalismul \u0103la din documente a r\u0103mas bine \u00eentip\u0103rit \u00een mintea tuturor, la scar\u0103 planetar\u0103, motiv pentru care v\u0103 prezint azi povestea lui “best regards\u00e2\u20ac\u009d.<\/p>\n

Cum scrisori formale nu mai trimit azi dec\u00e2t b\u0103ncile, Ministerul de Finan\u0163e \u015fi solda\u0163ii care n-au messenger \u00een garnizoan\u0103, mai toat\u0103 comunica\u0163ia business din ziua de azi se face prin email. Nu conteaz\u0103 c\u0103 e un mediu de comunicare total nesigur, care func\u0163ioneaz\u0103 pe principiul “best effort delivery\u00e2\u20ac\u009d (adic\u0103 “eu \u00eencerc, dar nu \u00ee\u0163i promit c\u0103 ajunge imediat, azi, r\u0103spoim\u00e2ine sau niciodat\u0103\u00e2\u20ac\u009d); \u0103sta s-a \u00eencet\u0103\u0163enit, \u0103sta e folosit, to\u0163i papi\u0163oii de manageri umbl\u0103 cu Blackberry-ul de g\u00e2t, \u00een pat \u015fi la du\u015f, pentru c\u0103 cea mai simpl\u0103 modalitate de-a avea mailul \u00een permanen\u0163\u0103.<\/p>\n


\nBuun, \u015fi a\u015fa cum am \u00eenv\u0103\u0163at la \u015fcoal\u0103, toate scrisorile astea trebuie s\u0103 aib\u0103 ni\u015fte formule de introducere \u015fi \u00eencheiere. Din p\u0103cate, emailul nu e ca o scrisoare de h\u00e2rtie, iar lipsa de creativitate artistic\u0103 a dus la o restr\u00e2ngere foarte rapid\u0103 a gamei de cuvinte folosite. Se adaug\u0103 la chestia asta \u015fi necesitatea p\u0103str\u0103rii unui ton “politically correct\u00e2\u20ac\u009d … \u015fi se ajunge la monstruozit\u0103\u0163i.<\/p>\n

Un mail tipic business din ziua de azi arat\u0103 cam \u00een felul urm\u0103tor.<\/p>\n

1. Introducerea: dac\u0103 e\u015fti stresat pe persoana c\u0103reia \u00eei scrii, bagi doar numele. Sec, singur pe linie, urmat de virgul\u0103 + r\u00e2nd liber + primul paragraf \u00een care-l be\u015ftele\u015fti pe el \u015fi ultimele 3 genera\u0163ii din familie. \u00cen termeni de business, e cea mai apropiat\u0103 adresare de formula prietenoas\u0103 “b\u0103i animalule\u00e2\u20ac\u009d.<\/p>\n

Dac\u0103 e\u015fti neutru, \u015fi nu prea-\u0163i pas\u0103 de persoana respectiv\u0103 nici dac\u0103 i-a crescut un al 6-lea deget la m\u00e2na dreapt\u0103 sau tocmai \u00eei remorcheaz\u0103 ma\u015fina din fa\u0163a biroului, bagi un “hi\u00e2\u20ac\u009d sau un “hello\u00e2\u20ac\u009d, adic\u0103 “salut\u00e2\u20ac\u009d sau “bun\u0103\u00e2\u20ac\u009d. Scurt, la obiect, nimic pasional. L-ai informat, i-ai scris, d\u0103-l \u00eencolo, gata, ce at\u00e2ta aten\u0163ie.<\/p>\n

C\u00e2nd nu \u015ftii cui exact trebuie s\u0103 te adresezi, bagi un “dear\u00e2\u20ac\u009d cu ochi bl\u00e2nzi de c\u0103prioar\u0103 \u015fi alipe\u015fti numele departamentului \u00een care presupui c\u0103 s-ar afla individul respectiv (care, desigur, are un motiv \u00eentemeiat pentru care nu \u0163i-a dat datele lui personale de contact \u00e2\u20ac\u201c probabil te consider\u0103 enervant, idiot, \u015famd). Astfel, se ajunge la formul\u0103ri hilare care s-ar traduce \u00een rom\u00e2n\u0103 drept “drag\u0103 marketing\u00e2\u20ac\u009d, “drag fisc\u00e2\u20ac\u009d sau “drag\u0103 to\u0163i\u00e2\u20ac\u009d.<\/p>\n

2. \u00cen con\u0163inut, am sc\u0103pat c\u00e2t de c\u00e2t. O dai pe chestii tehnice, “f\u0103 asta\u00e2\u20ac\u009d, “solicit asta\u00e2\u20ac\u009d… ieftin. Singura chestie distractiv\u0103 este formula “kindly do …\u00e2\u20ac\u009d,\u00c2\u00a0 care s-ar traduce \u00eentr-un aproximativ “cu amabilitate, v\u0103 rog s\u0103 …\u00e2\u20ac\u009d. La arabi \u015fi indieni este de obicei completat\u0103 cu “do the needful\u00e2\u20ac\u009d, rezult\u00e2nd traducerea “cu bun\u0103tate face\u0163i necesarul\u00e2\u20ac\u009d.<\/p>\n

3. \u00cencheierea, dac\u0103 e\u015fti norocos, se rezum\u0103 la un amical “Thanks, Gigi\u00e2\u20ac\u009d. Adic\u0103 “Mul\u0163umesc, Gigi\u00e2\u20ac\u009d. Dac\u0103 nu, te treze\u015fti cu formularea care m\u0103 scoate pe mine din s\u0103rite, adic\u0103 “regards\u00e2\u20ac\u009d, \u00een toate variantele. “Regards, Gigi\u00e2\u20ac\u009d sau “Best regards, Gigi\u00e2\u20ac\u009d sau “My best regards, Gigi\u00e2\u20ac\u009d.Unii au impresia c\u0103 nu-i de ajuns, ca atare completeaz\u0103: “Thanks and regards, Gigi\u00e2\u20ac\u009d ! Dac\u0103 ai nevoie s\u0103-i atragi dobitocului aten\u0163ia, pui \u015fi un FYI (For Your Information, pe post de “bag\u0103 b\u0103 la cap\u00e2\u20ac\u009d) \u015fi se ajunge la “FYI & thanks & best regards, Gigi “. \u00c4\u201aia mai pragmatici au scornit-o: \u00een loc de “best regards\u00e2\u20ac\u009d bag\u0103 “b.r.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d. Halal.<\/p>\n

\u015ei desigur, notele de subsol ata\u015fate automat la mail sunt de c\u00e2te o jumate de pagin\u0103, \u015fi se ajunge la mailuri de genul \u0103sta…<\/p>\n

Drag\u0103 To\u0163i,<\/p>\n

v\u0103 mul\u0163umesc mult pentru sprijin.<\/p>\n

V\u0103 mul\u0163umesc & Best Regards,
\nGigi
\nFunc\u0163ionar
\n\u00een departamentul nu\u015ftiucare
\nal companiei cutare<\/p>\n

Acest email \u015fi orice ata\u015fament al s\u0103u pot con\u0163ine informa\u0163ii confiden\u0163iale. Dac\u0103 dvs sau organiza\u0163ia dvs nu sunt destinatarul inten\u0163ionat \u015fi a\u0163i primit acest mesaj din gre\u015feal\u0103, v\u0103 rug\u0103m s\u0103-l \u015fterge\u0163i \u015fi s\u0103 ne contacta\u0163i. Dac\u0103 textul acestui mesaj nu este relevant pentru compania noastr\u0103, nu \u00eel confirm\u0103m. F\u0103r\u0103 excep\u0163ie, compania noastr\u0103 nu \u00eencheie acorduri prin email, \u015fi nimic din acest mesaj nu va fi considerat sau interpretat ca o creare de obliga\u0163ii pentru compania noastr\u0103.
\nAr trebui s\u0103 verifica\u0163i toate ata\u015famentele cu un antivirus \u00eenainte de a le deschide.<\/p>\n

Companie autorizat\u0103 cu num\u0103rul … \u015fi capital de …<\/p>\n

Licen\u0163\u0103 comercial\u0103 nr. …<\/p>\n

G\u00e2ndi\u0163i-v\u0103 la mediul \u00eenconjur\u0103tor \u00eenainte de a tip\u0103ri acest email.<\/em><\/p>\n

De-aia nu bag eu nimic la sf\u00e2r\u015fitul emailurilor.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

De c\u00e2nd f\u0103ceam rom\u00e2n\u0103 \u00een general\u0103, \u00eemi amintesc partea din program\u0103 dedicat\u0103 scrierii documentelor oficiale. Sigur vi le aminti\u0163i: \u015fabloanele alea anoste, cu “cerere\u00e2\u20ac\u009d, “scrisoare\u00e2\u20ac\u009d, “proces verbal\u00e2\u20ac\u009d etc, \u00eenghesuite \u00een grab\u0103 pe la sf\u00e2r\u015fitul anului \u015fcolar. Eh, formalismul \u0103la din documente a r\u0103mas bine \u00eentip\u0103rit \u00een mintea tuturor, la scar\u0103 planetar\u0103, motiv pentru care v\u0103…(Continue Reading)<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[10],"tags":[183],"class_list":["post-826","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-din-lume","tag-din-lume"],"yoast_head":"\nboala lui "best regards"<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"De c\u00e2nd f\u0103ceam rom\u00e2n\u0103 \u00een general\u0103, \u00eemi amintesc partea din program\u0103 dedicat\u0103 scrierii documentelor oficiale. 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